MRIs gone wrong

So, anyone who's known me for the past, say, 20 years, knows that I have bad knees. Recently, this situation worsened when I made an overly aggressive move in my Friday morning cardio-hip hop class and somehow managed to tear my meniscus. It doesn't hurt most of the time, but when I screw it up, I can't straighten my leg. So I got an MRI and took it to the doctor. His verdict? Not only do I have a meniscus tear, but in the back of my knee, I have a cyst. I find this gross; he says it's pretty normal with a tear because fluid tends to leak out of your damaged knee and pool at the back. Fair enough. But it's still gross. More worrisome, however, is that he noticed a part of my kneecap where it appeared I had no cartilage left at all. Seeing as how I am but 29 years old, that is not a good thing. I asked him what he suggested we do about that. His response? "I would drill small holes in your bone to make it bleed." I am not kidding. He actually said that. I responded, "Wow, that's not something you want to hear from your doctor," and he proceeded to explain that the bloody bone would presumably release some pluripotent cells that could produce a bit of "scar cartilage" (scartilage?) and ease my aching joints. Sounds good, but how about the recovery? FOUR WEEKS on crutches and FOUR MONTHS of no physical activity. This is beyond depressing to me, not only because I hate myself if I don't exercise for even a single day, but because working out is a primary way I control my diabetes. Very upsetting. 

Speaking of diabetes, though, yesterday I went in for a second MRI on my other knee (my logic being, if I don't have cartilage in my right knee, it's probably not in my left, either). On the intake sheet, they ask if you have an insulin pump. I checked yes. When I walked into the room, I showed my technician my insulin pump. She said it was fine. In the actual MRI room, the other MRI technician asked what my medic alert bracelet was for. I told her diabetes. None of them said anything about my pump, and since they'd also told me that my jewelry was okay, I figured it wasn't a big deal. Otherwise they'd have said something, right? And besides, what could happen if you put an insulin pump in a gigantic magnet? Oh, wait . . . it magnetizes! Then it FLOATS IN THE AIR. And then its motor breaks. When I came out of the machine I noticed that my pump was suspended in the air above my stomach -- a strange sensation -- and showed it to the tech, who said, "Oh, I didn't know you had that on you!" and suggested I "reprogram it." No such luck. The thing is busted. Minimed is sending me another one (though shit is going to go down between Minimed and Magnetic Imaging Affiliates) and for the time being I am on some weird cocktail of long-acting insulin (which I haven't used in five years) and boosters by injection every time I want to eat something. Point being, this morning, I am one unhappy diabetic. 

This is the blog for Salt Magazine.