I've decided to make a preemptive New Year's resolution and get back in the swing of the Salt blog. In that spirit, let me pose a question to the remaining one or two readers who still frequent this page (Jim, Dad and Bonnie-Sue, I'm talking to you): What is up with the subject lines of spam messages these days?
The subject matter of these emails appears to still be the same -- penis enlargement, cheap prescription drugs, Swiss Rolex watches -- but their subject lines themselves are getting quite bizarre (and explicit). Not so much with the drugs and the watches -- more with the penises. I don't think I've ever heard as many disturbingly creative ways to advertise penis enhancement products. For example:
-Have you ever felt the kiss of a womb? You will with your new huge rod.
-Turn your small knob into a huge meat stick!
and, just this morning,
-Turn your trouser mouse into a monster schlong!
I don't know what everyone else out there wants for Christmas, but if I were to have a penis, I don't think that "huge meat stick" or "monster schlong" would be on the top of my list for Santa. I mean, really. Are they just trying to get around the spam filter? (Apparently Yahoo mail is too clever for monster schlongs -- that one went straight to bulk mail.) Or are there some teenage spammers in Russia somewhere who are getting really bored (and/or have recently seen the movie Superbad)? It doesn't make sense.
Not too much else to report from around these parts. I made my first stew yesterday. It had beef chunks in it and dumplings in it, which sounds like it could be made into some sort of spam message itself (turn your fluffy dumpling into hot beef!). Turned out pretty well, but the whole house still smells like pot roast. The best part about it, though, was the epicurious comment board in which 124 people weighed in with their thoughts on the dumplings. Opinions varied wildly. Some claimed this was an instant family classic, that people were clamoring for the dumplings, that next time they'll triple the recipe because everyone wanted more. Others described them as too fluffy, doughy, dumpling-y.
Personally I found them to be exactly what you'd expect if you took dollops of homemade Bisquick and dumped them into your stew -- sort of tasteless fluffy things that were satisfying because they sopped up the stew and gave your body a quick fix of carbs. But I liked the spirit of the dumpling commenters. They really seemed like they cared.
This is the blog for Salt Magazine.
