Did you have any idea that there were things called "state songs"? That each of the states that make this country (sorta, barely, not really) united has its own bonafide song with lyrics and music? With the exception of New Jersey? It's true! Ask Laura, who art in Laura's Midi Heaven, collector of state songs (sheet music, flags and birds too).
Being that I'm from Jersey, I find this discovery of state songs and my state's lack of one utterly bewildering. You who did not grow up in Jersey: Did you know about this? Were you forced to learn and sing your state song in elementary school? Because, I grower upper in Jersey, did not and was not. Is this because people from Jersey are more enlightened and know that state songs are a stupid stupid idea? Case in point:
The Old North State
Written by William Gaston
Composed by Mrs. E. E. Randolph
Carolina! Carolina! Heaven's blessings attend her!
While we live we will cherish, protect and defend her;
Tho' the scorner may sneer at and witlings defame her,
Still our hearts swell with gladness whenever we name her.
Hurrah! Hurrah! The Old North State forever!
Hurrah! Hurrah! The good Old North State!
Tho' she envies not others, their merited glory,
Say whose name stands the foremost, in Liberty's story,
Tho' too true to herself e'er to crouch to oppression,
Who can yield to just rule a more loyal submission?
Hurrah! Hurrah! The Old North State forever!
Hurrah! Hurrah! The good Old North State!
Plain and artless her sons, but whose doors open faster
At the knock of a stranger, or the tale of disaster.
How like the rudeness of the dear native mountains,
With rich ore in their bosoms and life in their fountains.
Hurrah! Hurrah! The Old North State forever!
Hurrah! Hurrah! The good Old North State!
And her daughters, the Queen or the forest resembling
So graceful, so constant, yet the gentlest breath trembling.
And true lightwood at heart, let the match be applied them,
How they kindle and flame! Oh! none know but who've tried them.
Hurrah! Hurrah! The Old North State forever!
Hurrah! Hurrah! The good Old North State!
Then let all those who love us, love the land that we live in,
As happy a region as on this side of heaven,
Where plenty and peace, love and joy smile before us,
Raise aloud, raise together the heart thrilling chorus.
Hurrah! Hurrah! The Old North State forever!
Hurrah! Hurrah! The good Old North State!
A rather disturbing ditty, no? A perfect example as to why state songs should no longer be or should at the very least be updated. I feel that I can say so because I am concussed and from New Jersey, and therefore know better.
- report from still SMPT correspondent, Kyoung Kim, who feels as though she's just discovered that all this time she's been living in a parallel universe and as a result needs a bit of chocolate (that last bit's a lie. well, less lie, more excuse)